Home Club

so ytd was my first time at home club. the crowd wasnt that big and the stage was small and i wasnt feeling well. was kinda stoned the whole day. i dunno why but my mind was just like blank for the whole afternoon till night. but it was a fun show with pretty good sound!

the best part of the set for me was when the mosh pit started and a saw a fucking shoe flying right pass me!

and i tell u ah, the mosh pits are the shows are getting wilder by the gig! at deafcon 2 we had ziyang jump off the fucking stage, ytd we had a few guys jumping off over and over and over again and one even kicked the mic stand right into my face :(

Bad Obsession also joined an australian based label called OUTBREED. so im kinda hoping for the best out of this move that we are taking.

of cos some things are set for a change, but dont worry, the music will be GLAM AS FUCK as usual.

k, enough about the band.

about the past week :

i really hate hurting people or making them feel sad. i mean, most of the time i try as much as possible to cater to make people feel good even if it means that it will be an inconvenience to myself.

maybe not in the most obvious ways, but i do try very much to please others.

but i think i might have hurt someone very deeply by a decision i made.

and it sucks more when she's making me sound like the bad guy.
thing is that i personally dont feel that i ve did any wrong with this decision. it might have been a stupid one, but whats the point of holding on to something that doesnt have a concrete future?

yes, we re one of the lucky few to have a visible road leading down. but it had to be ruined by lies.

i ve always held to the belief that girlfriends/lovers/partners should never be held down.

meaning that i will never tell them what they can or cannot do. i am not their parent nor do i own the title deed to their life. what a boyfriend should do is really to be there as an additional happiness to the girl's life and not a fucking hinderance.

the only 2 things that i cannot tolerate is abuse of trust, and my gf flirting with other guys.

i guess at this point of time, whatever i say to you holds as much weight as whatever u say to me. at the start, i really never saw the end to be like this. but i guess, fate does play a big part in our lives.

just because i made the decision to give up doesnt mean its been easy for me. it hasnt been easy for me for the past 5 months. but still, i held on. maybe that kinda sacrifice isnt what you think you deserve. i gave u the benefit of a doubt even when you kept denying and even to the extend of defending vernon.

like i always say, you deserve better. someone that can sacrifice enough for you, be there for you, give u the things you want. everything that i am not.

you ve played a big part in my life and i hope i have in yours too.

i probably will never forget every single moment we had, every phone call we shared, the laughter, the times we fought over the most trivial things, the letters we wrote, the bitching we did about other people and every thing else.

just for the record, i didnt let you go because of vernon, i still stand by the fact that i wldnt have minded that much if u had told me. i let you go because u lied to me for 5 mths.

maybe with this chapter closing, we d be able to open a whole new one.

i ve made my decision, but the option to you is still open, no point pushing back and forth to me.
just give me your answer.

i still do value your friendship.