what a depressing day

looking at the picture of trish below and then when i went to her friendster and saw those picture comments just makes me laugh at how people get all excited just because of a brand.
Everyone is like "OHH GIBSON!".
all these coporate branding lessons are really true!
a six letter brand and make all these ignoramus teens go "WAH WHEE" without any knowledge about whether it even is a good guitar.
Cos to them, as long as it spells Gibson, it sure is going to be a good guitar.

well, i wont say it doesnt substatiate to a truth. And i cant say that either since i am a Gibson artist. But for fuck's sake, jst because a guitar is plastered with G-I-B-S-O-N wont make you play any better! (something i presume MANY out there still wanted to believe is true)

anyway, today is a very depressing day.
We had this big presentation with the most amount of judges ever present in all my 3 years of poly life. For the first time i had a fucking script prepared for the presentation. And for the first time i actually fucked up a presentation!

You see, all the work and preparation just when blanked the moment i stepped into the room, it wasn't nervousness or anything that caused it. But probably the fucking heat in the room plus the computer having trouble for the first 7 mins or so didnt help anything either.
But ultimately, i blame the rubber net holding my hair together under the wig for everything.
It squeezed my head too hard!
HAHAHAHAHA.

anyway, i sort of skipped one component and then realised it halfway and for that 2-3 seconds which seemed like an eternity, i contemplated skipping that part as a whole but then decided to apologise and go back to it.
Thankfully i did because the judges all enjoyed the jingle :)

and back home, i took out some time to figure out solos for the songs cos im supposed to lay the final tracks for guitar for the bad obsession songs next week, and fuck, after spending 2 hours on 3 of the songs, im not at all sastified with everything that came out.

it is quite a normality that i receive messages on myspace/friendster and people coming up to me telling me how they think im a great guitarist etc. etc.
but to be honest, i never ever thought that way of myself.
and times like these, i actually fucking hate the way i play.
maybe 2 years back, i actually liked what i was playing, but as i got "better" (or worst) it just seems that im stuck in this box that wouldn't break open and as much as it may seem melodic or happening to others, to me it seems like im going round and round in circles and everything i come up with sounds the same to me.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i so badly wanna sleep!