you know how costume fetish always revolve around female nurses?
i have been in and out of the hospital for the past few days cos my mother went in for an operation (Thank GOD she's ok now and is being discharged tomorrow).

well anyway, thing is i have not noticed a SINGLE hot nurse in the hospital, and personally, i don't even find the outfit sexy, i wonder how such a fetish conceptialised. (then again, how the fuck did the cleaveland steamer come about!?!)

so its the holidays now and all i do is play virtual baseball and watch southpark every single day, it becomes almost routine.
Got a call from lime to start work today but i had to decline it because i want to take care of my mum when she gets discharged. so i'm just continuing with the freelance work for now.

i've been thinking about my life and stuff the past days, and sometimes i wonder what my future will be. Yea if the enbloc is succesful i'll be a millionaire but with the rising costs in Singapore, what can a few millions do?

and without a concrete foundation money will just flow right away within a few years.
i've always wanted to be a writer but then again it isnt much of a lucrative trade.
so the plan as of now is to get a degree in law and then do freelance writing and start my own company. (plans dont always work btw, so im just making one up to make myself feel comfortable without the fear of not knowing what the future beholds)
As for now my business plans will remain under covers but it involves Pork and the United States of America.
Or maybe i could work in marketing for bands, i've always felt i fare better in marketing bands (with a budget and the ability to actually conceptualise ideas) than playing in them anyway.

onto a more personal side now.

i think the fact that i always turned to gillian when i had troubles cos she is the only person i was really close enough to talk to made me miss her quite a bit the past few days.
its like, we havent spoke in months for whatever reason i dont know.
it was just a break in communication all of a sudden.
but yea, sometimes i don't know if i miss her as a friend or do i actually miss her as a girlfriend.
i seem to think it isnt much of romantic notions anymore because after all the shit we been through, i don't think its much of a wise idea to be together again.
but i hate losing friends especially one that i had shared so much of my life with.

its weird cos ever since we broke up, i've never felt the warm fuzzy feeling u feel when you like someone. the kinda of feeling where u feel special just because the person messages you. or the kind when you look forward so much to just a normal movie date.
But then again, maybe its because i've given so much then had it all taken away and now, the stakes are just raised higher and i'm really not interested in wasting my time with someone whom i don't see a happy ending with.
Definitely isn't because i haven't gotten over gillian because, sometimes i even think that we just feel apart as a couple even before we broke up.
But i really miss having someone close around. Time to find a new GF!!

It's true, nowadays i look a lot at the end in mind even before it gets a chance to start.