The closing of a chapter

24th jan to 16th march (3:40pm) 2006.
thanks for every single moment regina leong wei shan. i love u.
i ve had the best and worst times of my life.
i really didnt see the end coming. it just hit my like a hugh oncoming 18 wheeler. BAM! and till now i still dont know what hit me.

i guess in the email u sent. u said u didnt care about what others think about u and the meeting at billy bombers @marina yesterday was basically to explain urself and u wanted to know what i thought of u. i guess some of ur explainations were really really flimsy. but what the heck, as i said, i dont give a flying fuck what happened in dubai. and to answer ur question. what do i think of u?

i still think and feel the same about u since day one. and thats the sad and stupid truth.

i guess there were still somes cover ups here and there yesterday. but i really dont mind anyway. i went down for one reason and only one reason.

to find out the change of heart in the wonderful girl that i could call my lover.

but i guess ur answer was still "i dont know". and pls dont create a reason jst so we can have a reason to look back on. i still would like to know what happened even if u finally settle ur own thoughts a yr later. i ll always be ready and jst a phone call away. i understand that u re confused right now. but i do hope one day, when u can reach down and find an answer... i really do hope u can share it with me. cos i dont want to be looking back when im 60 and dying and still wonder what went wrong.

and i was just surprised u asked for a break up after telling me the night before u didnt want one and u re willing to try to work something up. sigh.... i just hope u really gave good thought over this and its not one of ur rash decisions. but whatever makes u happy. u knw i d do it.

i felt like a fucking fag yesterday. imagine this sight, a kid with long hair, tattered pants, chains walking arnd with his head down in tears arnd marina, city link and city hall. what a sight!!!

but i d really like to thank a couple of friends who were there for me in the worst point of my life yesterday.

thanks nic for rushing down to meet me right after hearing about what happened. u re really a great great friend. sorry for scaring u though :)

thanks to clarise, for also meeting me and jst standing there and talking to me and consoling me. i knw u aint going thru much better shit but thanks so much... u knw i d be there anytime for u too.

thanks to nurul for the smses.

thanks bob for being a really reliable and great friend.

thanks to shaun for coming down to just hang out with me at night.

thanks to alwyn for calling from hong kong to find out if im alright.

thanks nicole and zhili for talking online.

thanks to carol for the prayers.

thanks sarah for letting me get a better understanding of things.

and there s one very very important person beside God i d like to thank.

and that person is BEATRICE WEE JIA YIN.

thru out this past 2 weeks, u ve always been there with words of encouragement. talked to me, encouraged me, explained stuff to me and basically been there for me. its amazing how a person i ve nv even met before can care for me in such a way.

beat, u re one of the best things i got out of this relationship. i got a friend. i owe u one. and i can fleece me! :) and u owe me coke! haha.

ok, thats all for the whole acamdemy award shit, i shall shut up now. but i jst felt the least i cld do is give u guys some space on my blog! HUR HUR.

if i missed anyone, dont get pissed ok!? im jst not thinking very well now!

sometimes, late at night when i m at my most down. i wonder if she s even feeling sad at all. i wonder if she still thinks of me the way i do. i wonder if she still remembers the times we had. and every single thing i went thru and did for her.

i guess all i have left are memories. i dont even have a fucking photo of us together....
i rmb u once saying. the time that u spend getting over a person is the measure of how much u love him/her. this saying is really making me worried. cos i really want to move on. and trust me. the way i love u. i wonder how long its going to take me.